Kill the Lights
by SmurfsTasteGoodOnToast
Summary: "Hey! Who won the 50th Hunger Games?" "You did Miss Trinket."    Haymitch and Effie are thrown into a world where he's a ditsy Capitol escort  and she's the drunken mentor. How are they going to fix this?
1. Chapter 1

Effie Trinket does not get mad. I do not get ruffled and hardly anything gets under my skin. There are only three things that actually do:

1. Lack of manners.

2. My tributes dieing.

3. Haymitch Abernathy.

So with the three mixed, yes, I was a bit peeved. Haymitch acting like a drunken fool makes the three collide. First, there's Haymitch, an in the state he's in, manners are just out the window. Also, he was no shape to give the tributes any advice, almost insuring their deaths.

"Maybe if you would stop drinking for two minutes they might have an actual mentor!"

"What's so great about a mentor? It's not like it's going to help their chances. Besides I didn't have one and I survived," Haymitch shrugged.

There were tears threatening to spill, and my voice was a bit off, "But they shouldn't have to." I stormed out of the train's dinning room and down the hall before stopping to compose myself. I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath.

Good thing I was leaning against the wall or I would have fallen when the train started to shake violently. I gasped when the lights went out after flickering a few times. I was clinging to the wall with all my might. The lights seemed to be out but there were no more tremors, so I straightened myself, made sure my was was in place and took a few steps before it happened. We went from 200 miles per hour to none in less than ten seconds.

I had fallen, and I should have gotten back on my feet immediately, but I was too scared to move. What could possibly be going on? I counted my breaths in the pitch blackness. 27. 27 breaths before I felt the train start moving again and the lights came back up.

"Sorry ladies and gentlemen," a nearby speaker called, "we went through a rough spot there. However, the rest of the trip should go on uninterrupted. And may the odds be ever in your favor."

I picked myself up and straightened my wig again, luckily it hadn't flown off. I turned around to head to my room when I noticed someone there who hadn't been before. The man was tall and wearing a bright yellow suit. I know from his died deep purple hair that he was from the Capitol, but that didn't make any sense. The only Capitol citizens should be the medic and I.

That's the moment he turned around. And I was suddenly looking into the smiling face of Haymitch Abernathy.


	2. Chapter 2

"What on earth are you wearing?" I blurted as if I just couldn't stop the comment, because in all honesty, I couldn't.

"The same thing as when you saw me five minutes ago. You, on the other hand, look like you're from the Capitol. Goodness Effie, how much have you had to drink? Do you even think about the tributes?" I've never heard Haymitch speak in a Capitol accent before.

"Me? All I ever do is worry! While you get drunk and don't even bother to mentor them!" something in me had just snapped, and I was speaking without thinking.

He looked confused for a moment, "Of course I don't mentor them, I the escort." My confusion was growing by the second. He seemed to read my face because he continued, "You won the 50th Hunger Games. You're the 2nd victor 12 has hand in history after you out smarted the others. Too bad you waisted that intelligence and became an alcoholic."

Something was definitely wrong. "No, that's you. I was born in the Capitol and became an escort," I explained as if speaking to a child. Haymitch looked concerned, "That's it, I'm taking you to the medic. I think all the drinking has finally got you you."

He grabbed my arm and I tried to fight, but he was too strong.

**A/N: OMG what happened to Haymitch? Any guesses? I'd love to hear them or any thoughs you have.**


	3. Chapter 3

I hate when I fight with Effie and I can remember it. Before I could pour another glass something really weird happened with the train and I was thrown out of my seat. After the train was running again I picked my chair up and grumpily sat back down. Running a hand through my hair I went to pour a glass again.

The door burst open and I snapped, "Darn it, women! What do you want?"

"What do you think I want?" a voice snapped back. I was confused as to what was different in her voice when I glanced up. "Effie?" I exclaimed.

"That's my name," she didn't even turn around. She was wearing dirty jeans and a leather jacket that looked to be from the Hob. Natural blond hair was tied back in a messy ponytail. She took a drink straight from the bottle of wine in her hand.

This strange creature in front of me then did the most un-Effie-Trinket-like thing I could imagine. She belched. "Oops. Did that offen-" she finally looked at me and looked completely off guard before a very sarcastic, "What? Is the poor district look 'in' this season?"

"You tell me, princess."

She plopped down in a chair, bottle still in hand, "So what happened to your stupid purple hair and ridiculously colourful suit?"

That one threw me for a loop, "What? Am I from the Capitol or something?"

She seemed a little thrown off, "Well, you sure ain't from 12."

"Now that," said the annoying Capitol accent, "is up for debate."

**A/N: I know the chapters are really short and I'm trying to work on that. Thanks to illyna and IShipCloveWithMe for the reviws, this chapter is dedicated to you guys! **


	4. Chapter 4

"Now that is up for debate," I said after hearing a snippet of Haymitch and this women's conversation.

"Effie?" the Capitol Haymitch said, his eyes flickering between the women and I.

"Why is my name so popular today?" hearing her voice and seeing her face I realized who this was. It was me.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed.

"What the hell?" she looked just as shocked.

"Wait, wait, wait," the mentor Haymitch said. "If there are two Effie's does that mean...? Oh no." Normal Haymitch was suddenly in Capitol Haymitch's face, "Who the hell are you?"

Capitol Haymitch was surprised, but covered it well. "Haymitch Abernathy, District 12 escort. And while I have an idea of who you might be, I would still appreciate it if you would take three steps back."

I couldn't believe it. That any version of Haymitch could speak so...properly.

"So it's pretty much like this," the other me said, "There's a sane Haymitch, and the Capitol one that I know and adore. Then, there's an annoying Capitol me. Good to know."

"In my eyes, you are the mentor version of me," I corrected.

"Oh great, you're just like Haymitch," this comment shook me. Never have I ever been compared to Haymitch. Never.

"Absolutely not. I'm a lady, not a drunk," I was outraged at the thought. Both mentors burst out laughing which perplexed me.

"I believe what my…colleague was implying is that you are like me, not the Haymitch you know. Simple mistake really," a dazzling white smile from Capitol Haymitch followed this comment.

I smiled back, "Well that is not something I take offence to."

"Oh geeze! They're hitten it off," Haymitch rolled his eyes and the other Effie snorted.

Us escorts sat at the remaining two seats as the tributes were asleep, or suppose to be. "Anyway," I started, "Shouldn't we try to figure out what happened. I mean, it isn't everyday that there are two of me."

"Praise the Lord," Haymitch injected.

"You don't say that to a lady," Capitol Haymitch responded. Normal Haymitch just smirked.

The other Effie began to speak, a note of irritation in her voice, "Are we going to figure this out or not? Because I'm pretty sure I've got it, but you guys seem to need a minute."

"If I may ask, what do you mean you already have it?" You can probably guess which Haymitch this was.

Effie rolled her eyes, "It's obvious. When the train had it's freak out tow of us got sent to a different dimension."

"But which two?" I asked.

She shrugged, "Simple way to find out." Effie got up and went to the intercom. "Hey! Who won the 50th Hunger Games?" she snapped. For a moment I was terrified. If I was still home, they would think that was me. I held my breath as the driver's voice called through the speaker a bit exasperated, "You did Miss Trinket."

I exhaled a sight of relief before she began to speak, "Well there you have it, you two are the freaks."

Capitol Haymitch looked scandalized. "Effie! We have guests! We're honored enough to be the first people to speak with ourselves from a different dimension and you call them freaks?"

Haymitch shrugged, "Eh, give us enough whisky and we can get pretty freaking."

"Why I never!" now I felt scandalized.

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart," Capitol Haymitch spoke up, "I can relate."

I smiled, "Well, I can't speak for him, but I am honored to meet you."

His smile put mine to shame, "The pleasure is mine. Guests from a different dimension! I must alert the press." He got up to leave, but not before normal Haymitch's comment.

"Kill me now."

**A/N: I know it's been a wile since I've updated, but I haven't really had much inspiration because I've only gotten two reviews (thank you to those two though). So if you want faster updates I need to know, and any other comments are also greatly appreciated.**


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